Photographing Memory: A Friends To Lovers Romance Read online

  “So what?” Alex pushed his chair back a little bit. He couldn’t push far. The Dunkin Donuts was crowded, and he didn’t have a whole lot of leeway. He just wanted to put as much space between himself and this whole situation as he could.

  “I have anxiety. You know this. It works itself out as insomnia. I’ve spoken to the doctor, we’re working on some things, doing what we can without medicine that would hurt the baby.”

  Jordan lifted his head. “You went to the doctor’s? Without me?”

  “Well yeah, without you.” Alex gripped his cocoa. “Did you think, when you dumped me, I was going to sit around and wait for your permission to do the things I needed to do? That my baby would just disappear?

  “I’m still pregnant, whatever the consequences. And now I have to raise this baby alone, with no partner and no support. Sitting around and mourning for losing the love of my life wasn’t going to get my baby a healthy start, even if it was all I wanted to do. It wasn’t going to pay my bills, even if I was tempted to call in dead for the next five years.

  “So yes. I’ve been putting one foot in front of the other. I go to work. I made a doctor’s appointment. I had the first sonogram. I’ve got an appointment tomorrow to go look at a studio apartment. I might be out of your life, but I’m still here, and I still have to go on.”

  He looked away. “I looked at a couple of jobs in financial services in Texas, but no one wants to hire a pregnant person, so I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. Maybe next year, though.”

  Jordan’s eyes bulged. “You’d actually leave Boston?”

  “My job is precarious, and at least at home I’d have some support. The bank has subsidized child care, but that doesn’t help with the rest of the time.” He sighed and hunched over.

  “I…” Jordan swallowed. “Alex, what about this baby?” He put a hand on his belly. “You’d leave this one behind?”

  “What is it you expect me to do?” Alex snapped his head up. “Hang around here like a ghost, begging for money, while I watch you endangering our kids by dragging them off to wherever and whatever?

  “I can’t stop you from putting the one in you in harm’s way, but I can help this one. You accuse me of putting the bank first, but you’re out there putting the kids dead last.

  “I didn’t ask you to stop getting arrested until I got pregnant, damn it. It’s literally the only thing I asked of you. I knew your ‘fight everyone’ approach to activism was going to look bad for me at work, and I ignored it. All I asked was that you put the kids first and stop getting arrested, and you just couldn’t do it.”

  Jordan nodded slowly. “Okay. Yeah. What kind of hours have you been putting in?”

  “Enough.” Alex glared at him. “You don’t get to know that anymore.”

  Jordan held up a hand. “We’re apart, Alex. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you and worry about you. You’re accusing me of not putting the kids first, but you’re up there in that tower working yourself to death. Did that doctor have anything to say about it?”

  “Not. Your. Business. I’m not going to be taking a nightstick to the abdomen putting in a twelve hour day at the bank.” Alex rubbed at his temples. “We should call it a day. I’ve got a killer headache, and I need to find a side gig.”

  “The hell you do. Come on.” Jordan stood up and took his bag, and the little bag of Alex’s things too. Funny, for all the time Alex had spent at Jordan’s place, he hadn’t left much stuff there.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Alex frowned.

  “We’re going back to my place. You always sleep better there.” Jordan turned around to look at Alex.

  Alex had always slept better at Jordan’s place because of Jordan, not because of the location. He’d slept better there because he had Jordan’s love. He didn’t have that anymore.

  “I don’t need your pity, Jordan, and the circumstances have changed. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  Jordan’s face softened. He turned back around and caressed Alex’s face. “It’s not pity, Alex. It’s love.

  “You’re right. I hated the bank before I knew you worked there, but then I got to be jealous of the bank. Just like any jealous jerk whose partner spends all his time with another man.

  “I should know better. I do know better. Come home, let me help you get to sleep. We can at least try to talk again after you’ve gotten a few hours’ rest.”

  Alex knew he should say no, but he couldn’t make himself do it. There was too big a piece of him that wanted the comfort of Jordan’s presence. “Just for a nap,” he agreed.

  They hailed a Lyft and headed back to Jordan’s place. Alex still tossed and turned in Jordan’s bed, though, until Jordan climbed into the bed with him. “Just for a nap,” Jordan murmured, and wrapped him up in his arms.

  Alex hated himself for his weakness, but he reveled in the feel of Jordan’s arms around him. Darkness claimed him as he settled into the warmth of Jordan’s embrace.

  He woke up several hours later, more refreshed than he’d been in a week at least. He sat up, and Jordan pushed himself into a sitting position too.

  “Thanks for that,” Alex said. He couldn’t hold onto his anger, not with Jordan’s eyes and Jordan’s scent all over him. All that remained was a massive, indestructible sadness. “I should go.” He wiped at a few tears that threatened to fall.

  Jordan bowed his head. Then he lifted it again and reached out to catch one of Alex’s tears. “You don’t have to go. You can stay, if you want.”

  “But you don’t want me anymore.” Alex couldn’t make himself look at Jordan. He couldn’t make himself get out of the bed, either.

  Jordan leaned in and touched his lips to Alex’s. The kiss was hesitant at first, but then Jordan deepened it. He was passionate, claiming, insistent.

  Alex hung on and returned everything he got. He reveled in the feel of Jordan’s lips, his hands, his hard body against Alex’s. He tugged at Jordan’s shirt, and he let Jordan help him off with his.

  They were both naked in a matter of seconds. They didn’t talk. Words would have ruined the mood, and Alex didn’t need words to express his love, his need, and his desire.

  He could show it with his body, with the way he touched Jordan. He could feel it reciprocated in the little sighs and moans he got as he stroked Jordan’s newly-sensitive nipples, and when their hard cocks brushed against each other.

  Jordan reached for the lube, and Alex parted his legs. He needed this. He needed Jordan to fill him.

  He needed the stretch. He needed to be connected to Jordan in the most intimate way possible, and of course he needed to accept this man into him. As Jordan worked his way into Alex, Alex wrapped his legs around his waist, urging him deeper.

  Jordan thrust in, again and again. Alex bucked his hips to meet his thrusts, always seeking a deeper connection than they’d had even seconds before. Each thrust pushed everything else further out of Alex’s mind.

  There was no bank, no protests, only sensation and the right here and now. Alex groaned as heat spread out from deep in his belly, out through all of his extremities. This was bliss, this was ecstasy, and he wanted it never to end.

  When he came back to himself, Jordan was cleaning him up with a damp cloth. He tossed the cloth into his laundry basket and climbed back into the bed, taking Alex back into his arms. He didn’t close his eyes, though. He rolled onto his side, so he could look into Alex’s eyes. “I don’t want you to go,” he murmured.

  Alex looked down. “I don’t want to go. I wanted us to build a family, together.”

  “We can still do it. I think we can.” Jordan chased the line of Alex’s jaw. “I want that too.”

  Alex took Jordan’s hand. They’d resolved some of their issues — not all of them, but some of them. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. And maybe, with a firmer foundation and a better understanding, a better start than they’d had before.

  24

  Alex and Jordan switched Alex’s
appointment to see a studio to an appointment to see a couple of two-bedroom apartments in the same neighborhood in Quincy. Quincy seemed like a good choice — the apartments were near the train, the schools were decent, and the neighborhood had a quiet and home-like feel despite being full of triple-deckers.

  The rental agent, Nancy, showed them a three-bedroom on a hunch. It was just outside of their price range, but they could make it if they stretched. Alex’s first instinct was to absolutely and categorically refuse. He didn’t want to risk defaulting on their rent, and if they could get by with two bedrooms, why wouldn’t they?

  Jordan pointed out that they could always add a roommate, if they needed to. In the meantime, having the extra space would be a godsend during the move, and until they needed to bring in a roommate, it would be good to have studio space for both of them. Alex demurred at the thought of having studio space for himself, but he could see the need to have space for Jordan to set up that wasn’t being grabbed at by little hands.

  They signed the lease, with the intention of moving in on February 1. Alex’s stomach twisted and turned itself into a pretzel about it, but Jordan’s parents made a decent contribution in addition to what they’d already promised (“Because of the studio space, of course,” Cindy told him. George just sniffed). Jordan made a few big sales that let them save some money, too, and Alex wrote a few freelance articles about finance, so that brought a little more money in.

  He got Jordan an appointment with his own doctor, Dr. Gutierrez. It hadn’t mattered much to Jordan which doctor he saw, and Gutierrez was happy to deliver both babies. Jordan’s baby was healthy as could be, and the doctor was happier with Alex’s progress now that he was sleeping better and getting therapy.

  “Online therapy is still better than nothing,” he told them, “and a lot of people are getting very positive results. So good job, and I’m glad you’re doing better.”

  The bank decided not to bring Chad back from his suspension, after a thorough review of Chad’s behavior and the incident about which Chad himself had complained. Alex was not asked to testify at all, but he was called into a meeting with Chad’s father, the VP of human resources, and Anna.

  “We just wanted you to know that Chad Milton will no longer be employed by the bank,” the HR VP told him. “We’ve looked into all of the incidents, and not only did he harass you beyond what any reasonable employee would be expected to withstand, he has also quite simply not been doing his job. He’s been trading on his father’s position to bully and intimidate other people into doing his work for him, and that’s simply unacceptable.”

  “It’s beyond unacceptable,” added Chad’s father, with a curl of his lip. “I’m deeply ashamed of my son. I knew he was spending a lot of time with you, and I hoped it was with a view toward getting back together with you. You’re a smart young man, and I think you were a good influence on him while you were together. Unfortunately, Chad made a different choice.”

  He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope, which he passed over to Alex. “This is meant as an apology, not a payoff. If you or your partner decide to press charges against Chad, no one is going to stop you. Believe me on this.” The grim set of his jaw told Alex all he needed to know.

  Anna cleared her throat. “We’ve decided to promote from within to fill the position. Given that the bank already has someone who’s been trained on, oh, eighty percent of Chad’s position anyway, we figured we might as well give the role and the salary to the person who’s been doing the work. What do you say, Alex?”

  Alex couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the formal offer. This promotion would bump him up several levels. He signed right away, because he wasn’t going to get an opportunity like this again. Chad had taught him that, and out of everything Chad had taught him, this was the thing that stuck out most.

  He wasn’t so gauche as to check the contents of the envelope until he got back home that night. Once he did, and told Jordan about the promotion, they opened it together.

  Alex couldn’t stop staring. Jordan had to walk away and splash cold water on his face.

  Fifty grand was a lot of money. It definitely counted as stability, in Alex’s eyes, at least.

  Alex and Jordan grew quickly as January raced toward June. They even got competitive about their baby bumps.

  Alex carried a little lower, with a more even distribution. Jordan’s bump protruded right away, an in-your-face style of bump that matched his personality.

  By contrast, the position of his placenta meant he couldn’t feel the baby move as much, whereas Alex could entertain himself by balancing things on the baby bump and watching them move around.

  As the calendar moved over to June, Dr. Gutierrez strongly suggested they schedule C-sections for the same day for both fathers. “I’m seeing some risk factors that make me nervous for both of you, and of course, the risk factors for male carriers are higher anyway. About fifty percent of non-scheduled births wind up moving to emergency C-sections anyway, so it’s not like you’re likely to be missing out,” he told them with a gentle smile.

  “Given the risks, and given that each of you is the other one’s intended caregiver, I’d rather get it done at the same time so you can be there for each other, and not trying to rush the other one to the hospital and ripping your stitches.”

  And so both Alex and Jordan went to the hospital on June 23. Alex went into surgery at ten in the morning, and was delivered of a perfectly beautiful baby girl named Olivia Davenport-Lopez. At noon, while Alex was cuddling Olivia in recovery, Jordan went into the same room and was delivered of a large, bouncing baby boy named Martin Davenport-Lopez.

  The hospital usually gave new parents private rooms, but they let Alex and Jordan share as a kindness. And so, from the first day, their whole little family was able to be together, little hats, tiny diapers and all.

  Jordan was up and walking the next day. Alex could have been, but he didn’t want to put the babies down. He didn’t understand how Jordan could, to be honest. “What are you doing?” he asked, as Jordan hobbled around with his tripod and camera.

  “I’m a photographer,” Jordan told him, setting up the camera. “Come on, Alex. It’s Day One. You don’t think I’m not getting our first official family portrait together, do you?”

  Alex wanted to demur, but Jordan was back at his side and pulling him in. The timer finished, and the portrait was taken. Jordan went to grab it so they could see it in the preview.

  Alex laughed weakly, not wanting to break his stitches. His hair was a wreck, and he was eight shades paler than he should have been. He had two more-or-less identical wrinkled, red-faced babies in his arms, each having lost their hats by mutual design, and an exhausted-looking Jordan beside him.

  They looked like a mess, and that was okay. They were their own mess, and they were together. That was all that mattered.

  End of Book – Please Read This

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  About The Author

  Aiden Bates is the author of the acclaimed Never Too Late series, the Hellions series, and the Sealed With A Kiss series. He started out with degrees in both journalism and creative writing, found himself gravitating toward the joy of writing m/m romance, and hasn’t look back since.

  Aiden loves to read, soaking up random information like a sponge. His teachers and professors always told him he should spend more time on “marketable” or “job-related” knowledge. He takes great pride in the fact that almost anything at this point
is job-related knowledge, from liquor laws in New York State to maps of villages in rural Greece.

  His favorite reading material is romance – all kinds of romance. M/m is his favorite, but he’ll cheerfully read f/f, m/f, and anything else with a happily ever after.

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  Photographic Memory

  Aiden Bates

  © 2018

  Disclaimer

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are all fictitious for the reader’s pleasure. Any similarities to real people, places, events, living or dead are all coincidental.

  This book contains sexually explicit content that is intended for ADULTS ONLY (+18).