Photographing Memory: A Friends To Lovers Romance Read online

Alex narrowed his eyes at Chad. Chad could sometimes be a jerk, especially in the mornings, but Alex didn’t need to sit there and take it from him like that. “They didn’t feel compelled to share that information with me. I’m not in IT, and I don’t need to know that kind of thing. I can only assume there was some kind of system failure. Maybe someone spilled coffee on one of the servers.”

  Chad scoffed and sipped from his drink. He’d splurged and gotten one of those expensive fluffy drinks, but then again, Chad could afford to. It left a little foam mustache on his pale skin.

  “Coffee on the servers. It’s cute that you think that happens. No. The issue was a virus. A trojan horse virus, uploaded by someone that seemed to be looking to give someone else, someone outside the bank, access to all of our systems.”

  Alex gasped. He didn’t have to ask how Chad knew. Chad knew because his dad was an executive vice president, the same way he knew everything. “That’s awful! Did they get to it in time?” He almost felt guilty about enjoying his time off with Jordan while the bank was being threatened like that.

  “We hope so. But that’s why they wanted everyone out of the bank. They wanted to make sure no one could interfere with the process while they scrubbed the virus out of the system.” He raised an eyebrow at Alex. “Now why do you think someone would target our systems, Alex?”

  “Presumably because we’re a big bank, and we’ve got a few trillion dollars worth of assets under management.” Alex sat back to study Chad. “This isn’t exactly rocket science, you know.”

  “Hm. Sometimes I forget just how young you really are.” Chad scratched at his chin.

  Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m two years behind you, you giant dork. What’s really on your mind?” He gulped from his coffee.

  Chad sighed. “Do you think the hackers might have been after something besides something other than our assets? Something like, say, information?”

  When Alex just gave him an irritable look, Chad pressed on. “Look. It’s no secret the bank has landed in the media because we’ve been backing some projects that have gotten some bad press. Like the DAPL, for example, or a company that’s started drilling in the national parks up in Alaska.”

  Alex recoiled, just a little bit. “And you think the hackers were hacktivists? Environmental hacktivists?”

  Chad scowled and wagged a finger at Alex, but he dropped his voice and leaned forward. “The term is terrorists, Alex. Environmental terrorists.” He sat a little straighter. “And you should know — I’ve been doing some research into your boy Jordan Davenport.”

  Alex tilted his head to the side. He didn’t know if that would make it seem like the room wasn’t spinning anymore, but it was worth a try. “Oh my God, how do you even know his last name?”

  “I asked the bartender at that dive bar you went into last night. Pro tip, by the way — don’t go there. Don’t let anyone see you going in there, or coming out of there. My God, man, it’s as seedy a dung heap as Boston has ever seen. I thought they cleared that kind of place out of here before we were even born, back when they turned Scollay Square into Government Center.”

  Chad gave an exaggerated shudder. “And before you get your panties into a twist about me having gone in there, yes, I followed you. I didn’t start following you, but I caught sight of you when you caught up with that creep, and I knew you’d decided not to listen to me, so then I knew I had to do some research.

  “What I learned definitely outweighs any qualms you might have about me trying to figure out who my friend was running around with.” Chad sipped from his coffee again, giving Alex a hard look over the rim. “For one thing, you know he’s an eco-terrorist, right?”

  “I know he’s an activist. I know he’s got strong feelings about immigration, for one thing. That doesn’t make him a terrorist, and it sure as hell doesn’t make him a hacker. He can’t even figure out how to turn the do not disturb off on his phone.”

  Alex bit his tongue and hid his hands under the table. He didn’t need Chad to see him wipe the sweat off of them. “Are we done here?”

  “Did you know he was one of the people leading the effort to get the City of Boston to pull their pension funds out of Charles River Bank? Because I know your funds took a hit.”

  Alex ground his teeth. “They took a small hit, but it wasn’t a big deal because I made up for it when I brought in Charlotte, North Carolina’s pension funds. And yeah, I knew he was involved. I didn’t know he’d organized it, but I knew he was involved with it, and I know he’s proud of it.”

  He didn’t point out to Chad that he hadn’t told Jordan about his involvement with the city’s pension funds. He himself didn’t put any of his funds in pipeline projects, because he didn’t trust them. He didn’t want to give Chad the ammunition right now.

  “Oh that’s cute, it really is.” Chad’s lip curled. “And when they ask you, during your exit interview just before security escorts you from the building, why you didn’t kick this dude to the curb as soon as you found out he was involved, what are you going to tell them? ‘Oooh, he was just so dreamy I couldn’t bring myself to do it?’ ‘Well, you know, I thought about it, but then I decided I didn’t need to be loyal to the company if some guy was paying attention to me?’”

  “That’s enough, Chad.” Alex put his coffee down and stared at his former boyfriend. “You sound jealous. It’s not a good look.”

  “I’m not jealous, Alex. You know better. I’m just looking out for you and for your career. I’m not going to rat you out, but you’d better believe they’ll find out eventually. And if they do, I’m not going to be able to do much to help you.”

  Chad got up and walked away.

  Alex took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. He shouldn’t have accused Chad of being jealous. He did know better.

  Chad didn’t get jealous, because he didn’t have to. Chad was Alex’s mentor, and his friend. If he had something to say, it was up to Alex to listen.

  That didn’t mean Chad didn’t have his biases. Part of Alex wanted to call Jordan up and tell him they had to stay away from each other, for the sake of Alex’s job. He didn’t believe Jordan was capable of hacking into the bank’s systems, of course, but what he believed didn’t matter. It was all about the bank, and what they believed.

  At the same time, something about Chad’s attack seemed off somehow. He’d truly seemed jealous, and that was weird. Alex knew he wasn’t, because that just wasn’t how Chad rolled, but something was going on there. And he’d actually followed Alex and Jordan into the bar, without knowing who Jordan was. That was a huge red flag to Alex, which made him hesitate before taking Chad’s advice at face value.

  Knowing something was amiss with Chad’s advice didn’t keep Alex’s hands from shaking for the next few hours as he sat at his desk. Every little sound made him jump, especially if it came from his boss’s office. At one, when his boss stuck her head out of her office and asked him to step inside, he almost threw up.

  This was it. This was the end. He was going to be fired, here and now. He would never work again. He’d have to go back to Texas in disgrace, and live under a bridge with his parents.

  He pulled himself together and walked into Anna’s office, with his head up. “Yes, ma’am?”

  “Close the door and have a seat, Alex.” She looked him over. “And try not to look so much like I ran over your cat, okay? I don’t even own a car.” She chuckled at her own joke. “Relax, okay?”

  Alex tried to follow orders, but he couldn’t manage to do fully let go of his fear. He could close the door, though, and sit down. “What’s going on?”

  She glanced at her screen. “Well, so far you’ve been doing a fantastic job with all of the work we’ve assigned to you. You’ve handled the accounts we gave you perfectly. You’ve made a few sales, which is outside the scope of what we asked from you, but that’s fantastic.

  “And you’ve even picked up a ton of Chad Milton’s work, which is a few levels above you, and not
anything that was ever assigned to you.” She frowned down at her screen. “Should we talk about that?”

  Alex ran his tongue over the back of his teeth. Chad had been pretty emphatic — the projects for him were part of his job, and that was all there was to it. Now Anna was telling him that wasn’t the case at all?

  He didn’t know what the truth was, but he wasn’t about to rat out the guy who’d gotten him the job in the first place. “It’s fine, ma’am,” he lied. “It’s not that much extra work, and I look at it as training.”

  “Hm.” Anna didn’t add anything more than that, but glanced at the door. “Well, I’ve got a project for you that should keep you busy anyway, and Chad will have to do his own work again.

  “I want to evaluate the performance of different funds and different fund components over time. I want to do this for all of our clients, regardless of manager. Can you set up a report to do this for me, including former clients, and include an alert that keeps me informed of any outliers?”

  Alex could see a vision of the future stretched out before him. The functionality wasn’t built into their system. He’d have to cobble it together, and it would take a lot of work on his part. It would mean even more late nights and even more weekends and holidays.

  He also knew he couldn’t say no. He needed to be the go-to guy if he wanted to keep his job. “Yes ma’am. I’ll get on it tonight.”

  She smiled at him. “I knew I could count on you, Alex. You’re the best.”

  9

  Jordan’s foot bounced with anticipation. He couldn’t quite contain himself. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of this sooner — say, when he’d first seen Alex in the bar. Of course, he hadn’t had any idea then how deep the bank’s talons had gotten into Alex’s soul.

  Alex gave him a little smile. He looked so perfect right now, with his hair just a little messy after a long day of work. Jordan had finally gotten him to get rid of the tie, too, so his white dress shirt was just a little bit open. “You okay there, Jordan? Did someone give you a bag of Pixie Stix again?”

  Jordan burst out with a loud guffaw. “You remember that?”

  A few people turned around to look. Bars like this weren’t places that people went for loud guffaws. Bars like this were places for decorum, and etiquette.

  People in suits came here for quiet conversations and clear, cold drinks. Jordan had drawn more than a few sneers when he walked in, and a small part of him worried that one of the snobs glowering at him might be in a position to hurt Alex’s career.

  That didn’t really happen though, did it? People didn’t fire, or refuse to hire, other people because of their friends, and Alex didn’t seem to be too worried. Not with the way his whole face lit up every time he looked at Jordan.

  “How could I forget?” he said now. “I swear to God, you were swinging from tree branch to tree branch like a damn monkey. Hooting, I should point out, the whole time. Until you fell, of course. That made the whole thing a lot less fun.”

  “Yeah. I don’t even remember the arm hurting when I broke it.” Jordan laughed at himself and toyed with his cocktail glass. Who even served drinks in glasses like this anymore? It wasn’t the 1890s. People didn’t drink from coupé glasses anymore, and certainly not etched glasses.

  Whose idea had this bar been? Oh, right. Jordan’s, because it was close, and because they had some of his photos up. “It hurt after, though. I’ve still got a scar.”

  “I’m sure you do. You’ll get a scar when you break your arm in three places.” Alex was giving him a look that was probably intended to be stern, but the corners of his lips were twitching. “I’m surprised all you did was break your arm, to be honest.”

  “If I’d done more, I think my dad would have lost his mind. Insurance covered the surgery, but it didn’t cover lost wages or anything like that.” He grimaced, remembering how angry his dad had been. “Anyway. Listen, I had something I wanted to run by you, if that’s okay. I was wondering if you’d be at all interested in modeling.”

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “Do they even still make the International Male catalog?”

  “Nope. And while I do shoots for catalogs and stuff like that, I have a whole separate booking process. Those companies usually pick the models. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m asking you to model for the art photography I make.”

  Alex stiffened a little. “I don’t know, Jordan. It’s kind of a big deal. People don’t want folks handling their finances if they’ve been involved with anything they find … you know. Indicative of questionable judgement.”

  Jordan had anticipated that answer. He reached over the table and took Alex’s hand. Their intertwined fingers made an excellent contrast, both with each other and against the stark white tablecloth. “Even if I asked you to do anything clothing-optional — which isn’t necessarily likely — we wouldn’t use your face or anything identifying.”

  The heat from Alex’s hand distracted Jordan from what he wanted to say for a second, and he just stared into Alex’s eyes. “I just think you’re beautiful, and it’s been a while since I’ve worked with live models for my own art.” He ripped his gaze away from Alex to indicate his prints on the nearby walls. “Those are mine, just to give you a sense of what we’re talking about here.”

  Alex’s cheeks darkened. “I, ah. I know. I kind of took a little trip through your website after our first date.” He chuckled nervously and swallowed. “Is this something you really want?”

  Jordan nodded enthusiastically. “It is. I think it would be great for us, and I think it would be pretty amazing for me too. I’d pay you, of course. I’d pay you for the shoots, and a percentage of anything I made from images with you in them.”

  Alex swallowed again, and used his free hand to reach for his drink. “I’ll do it.”

  Jordan relaxed a little. “For real?”

  “Yeah.” Alex’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, but it was rough, too. “I mean, I’m pretty bogged down at work, and you’ve got a lot going on yourself. We’ve both got a lot of commitments, and they’re important, but this will help us commit to spending more time with each other, too.”

  He smiled, a little shyly. “In our heads, it’s okay because it’s technically work, right? Not just fun and pleasure?”

  Jordan’s heart sank. How lost was Alex, if he couldn’t make himself agree to spending time with someone he cared about just because it wasn’t work-related? Jordan had always cared about Alex, and now that they’d reconnected, he was attracted to him as well.

  This went beyond attraction and affection. Jordan had to save Alex from the bank, and from himself.

  “That’s one way of looking at it,” Jordan hedged. He couldn’t make himself just agree, but he figured that was a good enough cover. “What do you say we finish up here and get started?”

  Alex met his eyes, and all Jordan could see was heat.

  He took Alex back to his place for the first time since they’d gotten together. Even though all he wanted to do was to hold Alex close and kiss him until they both forgot the Charles River Bank existed at all, he guided Alex over to the space he’d set up as a kind of mini-studio, with a stark white background. At least Alex could assuage his conscience this way.

  “What I want to do here is get a sense of how you react to the camera, so I know how to handle you.” He sat Alex down on a little stool and turned him so he wasn’t looking directly at the camera, but diagonally off to the side. It wasn’t quite a profile shot, but it would give the best angle of Alex’s incredible jawline.

  Jordan shot a few pictures like that, and then he stepped forward to change the angle. He stroked Alex’s cheek when he did, and the contrast between Alex’s soft eyes and his five o’clock shadow made Jordan’s breath catch in his throat.

  Alex stood up, right away, and leaned in. “Is it all right if I kiss you?” he asked, a little breathless.

  “Hell yeah.” Jordan closed his eyes. He’d thought it would take more than that to get
a reaction out of Alex, if they were in a professional mindset. Then again, Alex had seemed pretty intense back in the snooty bar.

  Alex kissed him like he was trying to find life again. He was slow and sensual, but the way he sought entry into Jordan’s mouth made him seem like a man on a quest.

  It was beautiful, and a little disheartening too. That a man like this, an artist with a soul like this, could be left to languish in the most corrupt bank in the country was a sin and a shame.

  If Alex was going to seek life through a kiss, Jordan was going to give it to him. He quickly took control, chasing after everything Alex had ever been and could still be. He slowly unbuttoned Alex’s dress shirt and got rid of it, tossing it onto the stool. Then he stripped Alex of his plain white undershirt, leaving him bare to the waist. God, he looked incredible.

  “I always knew you were beautiful,” he murmured, taking a step back to admire with his artist’s eye. “Even before I noticed anything sexually, at all, I knew how beautiful you were.

  “I’m so glad I had this chance. So glad you and Devon wound up roommates, man. I’m so glad I get to see you now, as a grown man.”

  Alex ducked his head and blushed. His dress pants bulged, which looked uncomfortable, and he unbuckled his belt as he spoke. “I’m grateful to Devon too,” he said with a little smile. “He’s been a good friend, you know.”

  He met Jordan’s eyes. “And you can do more than look.”

  Jordan laughed and got rid of his own clothes. He took Alex by the hand and led him into the bedroom. “Are you sure you want this?” He searched Alex’s face for any sign that his desire didn’t match up with his words. “Because we can stop, any time.”

  Alex stroked Jordan’s face. “You were the first guy I ever wanted, Jordan. We’re adults now, and we know each other as adults, and there’s nothing about you I don’t still want. I still want this.” He let his hand trail down Jordan’s jaw and neck, lingering over his chest.

  Jordan pulled condoms and lube from the nightstand and lost himself in exploring Alex’s body. For all the hours he put in at work, he certainly kept in great shape. Every curve, every muscle, they all needed to be touched and catalogued. He needed to know what made Alex sigh, and gasp, and moan, and of course he couldn’t help but think about how the long lines of Alex’s body would look stretched out in black and white.