Photographing Memory: A Friends To Lovers Romance Read online

  Alex brightened up a little. “Do you think that’ll be less expensive?”

  Jordan scratched his head. “I honestly don’t know. I don’t have to spend much on my clothes. In my job, I’m not expected to look like a millionaire. It’s worth looking into it.”

  He wrapped his hands around the mug Alex pressed into his hands. “I’m a little worried about you, Alex.”

  “I’m fine.” Alex spoke quickly, almost before Jordan got the words out. “Never better.”

  “You’re full of crap.” Jordan laughed gently. “It’s okay to be full of crap about this. Just know that I know, I guess. I mean, look, I know you’re worried. I know money’s been a real concern for most of your life, and you’re in a little bit of a panic.”

  Alex opened his mouth, like he was about to try to defend himself, and then he slumped. “I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it.”

  “You are, Alex. You are.” Jordan took Alex’s hand and guided him to his lap. “Someone who hadn’t known you as long as I have would never know, not in a million years.

  “And some of this anxiety is hormonal. I looked it up, and it’s a normal part of early pregnancy. So there’s only so much you can do, outside of meditation and calming apps.

  “Your worries are valid. I’m not going to pretend they’re not. I didn’t grow up the way you did, and I’m not going to wave away everything you’re dealing with just because I’ve always been comfortable and never had to think about it. I do want you to know I am thinking about money, and I’m willing to put in the work not just to bring home the bacon, but to set your mind at ease.”

  Some of the tension went out of Alex’s shoulders then. “How did I get so lucky? The guy I had a crush on my whole life turns out to be just this amazing.”

  He rested his head on Jordan’s shoulder. “Some of it is just going to be me obsessing. I’ve always obsessed, I think. I dropped art because I had to obsess about going to school and getting a full ride, you know? That kind of thing. Ever since I came to Boston, I’ve tried to pinch every penny.

  “There is one thing I do want to talk to you about. It’s weighing on my mind. And I don’t want to … I mean, I have to talk to you about it, because it’s a huge issue, and it could really put us out on the streets.

  “But it’s also something I know is important to you, so I hate to even bring it up. I don’t want to be that guy, the one who makes demands and tries to change who you are.”

  Jordan swallowed. “Are you going to ask me to cut my hair and put on a tie? Because that just might be a bridge too far.”

  Alex chuckled. “No. I just — when you got arrested, that was terrifying to me. I hid under the covers in my bed until Devon texted me to say you were out.”

  Jordan grimaced. “Yeah, I should have let you know right away, but I was arguing with my folks about that very thing. Um, about the baby. My baby, the one inside me, I mean.”

  He frowned. “Wow, that’s getting confusing already. I was telling them I didn’t want to participate in anything that would put my baby at risk. They pushed back, pretty hard, but I just … I couldn’t.

  “If the kid wants to come out to the protest and help save the world when it’s old enough, fine. I’m not making decisions like that before the kid is old enough to judge risks and benefits for itself.”

  Alex squeezed him. “Thanks. I just — between lost wages, and bail, and legal fees, and me hiding under the bed because I’m scared, and then me getting stuck under the bed because I’m as big as a house…”

  Jordan laughed at the image. He suspected that had been Alex’s goal. “I can promise you, between now and then I’m not going to do anything to get myself arrested. I’m only going to normal, garden-variety protests, nothing too out there or outrageous.

  “I’ll still organize, but more behind the scenes. I want to be there for you, and I want to be there with you. If you want to be there with me at some of those protests, that would be fine. I get why you feel uncomfortable.”

  Alex buried his face in Jordan’s neck. “Thank you.”

  “So, I’m supposed to be getting together with my parents today. They already know about the pregnancies — I wasn’t going to tell them until you were ready, but since I was telling them about mine, I figured what the hell. I thought it might help.”

  Jordan stroked Alex’s hair as he spoke. It usually soothed Alex, but it soothed Jordan too. “Maybe you should come too.”

  Alex shuddered. “Ugh. They hate me. I’m everything they despise. I work for Charles River Bank, for crying out loud.”

  “Well, they’re not your biggest fans, but they haven’t seen you in almost ten years, either. I think it’ll help humanize you. To, you know, make them see you’re human.

  “And here’s the thing. They’ve got money. It’s not enough for us to retire and spend the rest of our days playing with the kids on, but it should help. I can’t promise anything, but I can’t imagine they’d want to see their grandkids growing up in penury.”

  Alex was still hesitant, but they went to the meeting with Jordan’s parents together anyway. They met up in Copley Square, at a coffee shop, and the elder Davenports darkened when they caught sight of Alex.

  Alex almost turned and ran, but Jordan held his hand. “Hey. We’re starting a family, right? That means we’re in this together. I’m right by your side. They need to see that.”

  “Okay.” Alex took a deep breath. “You’re right. They do. Let’s do this.”

  He rolled his shoulders and let Jordan guide him to the counter, and then over to the table with their coffee. Cindy sniffed at Alex’s choice. “That’s far too much caffeine for a pregnant person to be consuming.”

  “I’m comfortable with it.” Alex gave her a cheerful, sunny smile. “It’s lovely to see you again, Mrs. Davenport. And you, Mr. Davenport.”

  Jordan had always admired the way Alex could go from a foul mood to bright and cheery for an audience. It had to be something they taught in business school.

  It was a wasted skill on George and Cindy.

  George harrumphed, and Cindy sniffed again. Jordan could have died from embarrassment. “I see you’ve decided to sell your soul for filthy lucre,” George said.

  “I suppose that’s one way of putting it.” Alex’s smile didn’t waver. “Another would be that I’m able to support my parents at only twenty-three, which is keeping them from falling afoul of current immigration policies that shifted after their arrival. But people are welcome to view the situation however they like.” He took a sip of his mocha.

  Cindy looked troubled, but George just turned his nose up. “There’s never any excuse for serving a terrible corporate citizen like that evil bank. Never.”

  “You know your trust fund is held there, right?” Alex sipped from his mocha again.

  George gaped, and Cindy turned to stare at her husband in shock. Even Jordan had to do a double take. “Wait,” Jordan said. “It is?”

  “After our talk this morning, I logged in and checked.” Alex shrugged. “I didn’t go poking around in your accounts.”

  Jordan was probably the only person who noticed the emphasis on the plural.

  “That’s not my area of interest, I handle institutional investments for things like teachers’ pension funds. But hey, it’s not like you could just pick up and move trust funds established for you.

  “Not without a huge legal headache, and then where would you put them? It’s not like other large custodial banks, who could manage those trusts, don’t have even bigger investments in pipeline projects than Charles River Bank does.”

  “They do?” Cindy asked.

  “Sure. Most of our investment decisions are made by individual portfolio managers, who can see that there’s a big risk inherent in companies that trash the environment. I don’t put any money into them, I discourage my colleagues from doing so, and our portfolios are outperforming others. They take note, and that’s how it works.

  “It’s quiet prog
ress, slow change, and it doesn’t get a lot of press, because we don’t make a big deal out of it.” Alex sat up a little straighter. “So. How are the twins? They’d be in college now, right?”

  Jordan held back a laugh. Alex had just done an end run around his parents’ biases in a way they couldn’t fight, and it had been glorious. He’d probably had to be plenty mad to do it, but he’d managed it.

  George and Cindy were too flummoxed to put up much of an argument after that. They tried to pressure Jordan, and Alex by extension, into coming to the next rally. It sounded like a horror show to Jordan, who declined, and Alex stood by him. Instead, Jordan pushed for some financial help from his parents.

  Jordan hated doing it, and he knew it made Alex’s skin crawl, but it had to be done. Neither of them had been planning for a baby. Neither was ready for a baby, and what Jordan cared about most right now was setting Alex’s mind at ease. If he could just do that, settle his spinning brain just a little bit, everything would be so much easier.

  Fortunately, George and Cindy didn’t have any issues with helping out. They agreed to spring for the down payment on an apartment once they found one, and to put some money toward furnishing the new place. It was more than Jordan had expected, and he admitted his gratitude.

  “We still think you should both be doing more to step up and save our world,” George told him, but his voice was shaken. Alex had broken him with his financial tidbits, and he hadn’t even been mean about it.

  When they parted, Jordan didn’t think it was his imagination that had Alex breathing easier beside him.

  Jordan knew he was getting off light, as far as pregnancy symptoms went. He didn’t get sick much. His sense of smell had gone a little overboard, which made some parts of his commute a little bit of a challenge, but he didn’t have Alex’s cravings or food aversions.

  All things being equal, pregnancy wasn’t so bad. He only had one problem, really.

  His libido just wouldn’t quit.

  In that, too, he’d been lucky. Some people found their desire dried up completely, but for Jordan the opposite had happened. He’d always been a healthy guy with a strong interest in sex, but now he just couldn’t get enough.

  Thankfully, even all Alex’s worries hadn’t dimmed his ardor. His desire hadn’t grown, not the way Jordan’s had, but he was always game whenever the bank dropped its leash.

  They were both young guys, even if they didn’t live a particularly “youthful” lifestyle. And as switches, they could definitely keep each other entertained for a good long while.

  He picked up his phone and texted Alex. Hey. Do you have plans for when you leave work?

  Alex replied right away. Nope. And they’re doing maintenance on the servers tonight, so I’m getting out at like seven. Are you free?

  Hell yeah. You should come over. Sometimes Jordan felt bad about having Alex come over so often. The lack of roommates outweighed any guilt, though.

  Alex showed up at seven-thirty. Jordan decided not to bother with subtlety. He answered the door stark naked, not caring if the neighbors saw. They shouldn’t be peeping into a man’s apartment anyway, especially not a healthy young man who had a right to run around naked when his boyfriend was on his way over.

  Alex’s eyes lit up when he saw what Jordan was wearing. “My goodness. Someone’s got a one-track mind tonight.” He grinned as he slipped into the apartment. Then he shut and locked the door behind him.

  “Not all one track.” Jordan put his hand on his chest and tried to look innocent. It wasn’t easy to do, considering that he was standing in the middle of his living room in his birthday suit, half hard, but he put his best effort forward. “I made dinner.”

  Alex raked his gaze from Jordan’s head to his feet, letting it linger in all the places he liked best. “I’m kind of feeling like you’re dinner right now, but I guess we shouldn’t let it get cold.”

  They sat down and ate the soup and bread Jordan had reheated for them. Jordan could be proud of his cooking ability, and he preened a little watching Alex eat every bite. Alex devoured the little dish of pineapple Jordan had set out for him, too — maybe it was an indulgence, but Alex was worth it.

  As Alex cleared away the dishes, Jordan nibbled on his neck. “Just leave them in the sink. We can wash them later.”

  Alex opened his mouth to object, but Jordan grabbed his tie and tugged gently. Alex let himself be led into the bedroom, a little grin playing around his lips. “I’ve got to say,” he said, glancing at the large bottle of lube on the nightstand, “I’m so going to miss this super-libido when you’re not pregnant anymore.”

  Jordan got up onto the bed. He got into the position he’d been thinking about all day — on his hands and knees, on the edge of the bed, positioned just right for Alex. “I’m pretty sure we’ll still do just fine, Alex. By the way, you’re still wearing too many clothes.”

  Alex laughed. “Am I?”

  “Yes! Leave the tie on, though.”

  “Just the tie?” Jordan heard clothing rustle as Alex hurried to obey.

  “Yes. Just the tie. I kind of like it.”

  “Your wish is my command.” Bare skin brushed against Jordan’s as Alex reached for the lube. He stopped to kiss his way down Jordan’s spine before flipping the cap.

  “You’re beautiful like this, you know. I love that you have no problem asking for exactly what you want, without hesitating and without any hint of shame. It’s amazing. I wish you could bottle it, distribute it. They could put it in the water, you know? The whole world should learn this. I think it’s my favorite part of you.”

  Jordan basked in Alex’s praise, but he’d never been the kind of guy to just knock back that kind of thing. “Favorite part, huh?”

  Alex chuckled, and Jordan heard the snap of the lube cap. “Well, that and your cock. And your ass. It’s kind of a three-way tie. But it’s considered rude to talk about it.”

  Jordan moaned as the first of Alex’s slick fingers breached him. He didn’t bottom as often as Alex did, but he loved it when he did. He treasured the feeling of opening for Alex, baring everything he was to Alex, and bringing Alex inside of him.

  He wasn’t feeling very patient today. As Alex stood behind him and tried to carefully work his way into Jordan, Jordan rocked back onto Alex’s cock. It was too much too fast, and it stung. Jordan would probably regret it later, but right now he couldn’t think about it. He only wanted Alex. He wanted to be filled, to have Alex as deep as he could go and to know they were as connected as two men could be.

  Alex steadied himself by putting his hands on Jordan’s hips, and obliged Jordan as best he could. He wasn’t willing to go too fast or hard, not yet, but he picked up the pace as they moved along. Soon enough, Jordan was getting it as hard and as fast as he needed.

  Jordan lost it, coming hard and making a mess of the sheets. He buried his face in the mattress, out of concern for the neighbors, but Alex could be in no doubt as to how much the experience had moved him. He stayed in position as Alex finished, pulsing hot and thick inside of him.

  After Alex cleaned them both up, he gently helped Alex into the bed and held him in his arms. He still had his tie on, and Jordan put a proprietary hand over it. “That was amazing,” he said, resting his head on Alex’s chest.

  “It was definitely that.” Alex kissed his head. “You like the tie, huh?”

  “Definitely.”

  17

  Alex groaned and rolled over. His phone told him it was four-thirty in the morning. He’d gone to bed at one, after getting out of work at midnight, and he had to get up in an hour and a half to get a workout in before heading to the office. Everything hurt, especially his head. He hadn’t managed to get a bit of sleep, his head spinning with what-ifs and a parade of terrible possibilities all ending with poverty and homelessness.

  He leaned back against the wall. Who was he kidding? Insomnia and work would kill him long before he had to try to support two babies in addition to his parents.


  He sent a quick text to Jordan. Are you still up? Not that Jordan should still be up. He should be in bed, with his ringer off, like a normal person whose brain wasn’t eating him alive. Of course, Jordan kept pretty irregular hours, so there was always a chance he would still be up.

  Tonight, he happened to be awake. Tell me you’re not getting up now to go to the office. You only left that place at midnight!

  Alex smiled. I tried to sleep, but I can’t. I should just go in. At least I can be productive.

  Jordan texted him back three angry-faced emojis. Dude, no way. I’m coming over. You’re calling in, and I’m going to come and take care of you today. You’re pregnant. You can’t go on like this, it’s bad for the baby.

  Alex bit his lip. It was true, it was bad for the baby, but what choice did he have? I can’t call in. They’ll fire me.

  They can’t fire you for using your sick time, Alex. Have you ever called in sick before?

  No.

  Then you’ll be fine. I’ll be there in like half an hour.

  Alex called the bank’s sick line, per procedure. In his mind, it went someplace dark and full of cobwebs, where an automated system deducted the employee’s sick time from their allotment and moved on. When he’d done that, he emailed Anna and let her know what was going on. Then he shuffled downstairs to wait for Jordan and fix himself a glass of warm milk.

  Jordan got there exactly half an hour later, thanks to Lyft. He hugged Alex and kissed his forehead. “You look beat,” he said. “Come on, let’s get you tucked into bed. Let’s get us tucked into bed, I should say.” He grinned. “We don’t even have to wear pants.”

  Alex huffed out a quiet laugh and let Jordan lead him upstairs. He stripped down and got into bed, falling asleep even before Jordan slipped into the bed beside him.

  He woke up at noon, when his phone rang. The caller turned out to be Anna, so Alex couldn’t ignore it.

  “Alex, oh my God! I thought the world was ending! How are you feeling?” The concern in her voice was genuine, and Alex immediately cringed at having left her in a lurch.